Susan Flakes Screenwriter
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May 1, 2018
 Part of Scriptapalooza 2018 Coverage of TO BE FREE
​Both screenplay and Author, Susan Flaeks, RCOMMENDED

Setting, Pacing, Tone and Transitions
The setting is well established through skillful visual descriptions. There is a sense of time and realistic surroundings when the setting is being described. The scenes are the appropriate length for their purpose and do not need to be shortened. The author takes care to always have a balance between action and dialogue. There is great use of tension vs. release within giving those moments of tension a true realistic and relatable point of view. This mostly comes from the Harriett, Betty and Molly’s points of view. The tone is consistent throughout and stays appropriate for the genre. The dramatic tone is effective within its genre as the reader feels for the characters. This is a historical drama that stands on that tone from beginning to the end. The transitions are well utilized and come off as translucent from scene to scene.
General Notes
The script is excellent and has a wonderful author who put a lot of time and love into this story. This is a story that should be told as it plays upon so many topics of history. Most importantly it tells Harriet’s story and point of view. The author did a wonderful job adapting Harriet’s story. This story has strength within and would do well for audiences to see it.

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January 2, 2018, from screenplay Francois Villon, the People's Poet

​GREAT HALL
DAIS BEFORE A GRAND FIREPLACE
Well-armed TWENTY-FIVE-YEAR OLDER ROBERT and his ever-vigilant assistant, PIERRE MARCHANT, 30s, who flaunts his fierce, fiendish face, put their swords to the throat of a young, tall, slim, thick wavy-haired man. This is FRANÇOIS VILLON, 25, in baggy tights and loose-fitting tunic, defiant and saucy,
François stands on the dais beside DUKE CHARLES, AKA Charles of Orléans, 50s, a nobleman’s noble, who sits elegantly on a throne on the dais.   
CHARLES
(to Robert and Pierre)
Put your swords away. I rule here.
ROBERT
(refuses to sheathe his sword)
And I govern Paris. He’s spoken the witch’s name. By law, the penalty is death.
François delivers the line again as if to a fetching, refined young woman, AMBROSE DE LORÉ, 20s who sits IN THE BACK OF THE HALL. Beside her, a large arched window. The sun glows on her, light snow seen falling outside. 
FRANCOIS
And the good Jeanne Englishmen burned at Rouen
Our gallant Jeanne of Lorraine
Excited, with joy, Ambrose clasps her hands together, puts them to her heart.
Robert and Pierre prepare to run their swords through François. Ambrose gasps. Charles rises; throws up his hands. 
CHARLES
Sheathe your swords! Now!! Or, upon penalty by law, you shall be cast into prison for insubordination.
They do so very reluctantly.
CHARLES
Here in my castle, I am the law. I’ll see to this blasphemy.
Charles yells to a SCRIBE, bald, business-like, 40s, who, like a modern court recorder, has written down François's every word.
CHARLES
Strike that forbidden line!
SCRIBE
Yes, Good sir, Duke Charles.
CHARLES
Read back the lines up to the forbidden one. 
SCRIBE
Yes, Good sir, Duke Charles.
(reads lines he’s written down)
Tell me, tell me... Where is...
Queen Blanche, like a queen of white lilies
Who sang like a siren
Bertha Broadfoot, Beatrice, Alice,
Erembourg who conquered Maine --
Scribe looks humbly up at Duke Charles.
SCRIBE
That’s all, Kind Duke.
CHARLES
(to François)
Complete your poem. About the truly great French ladies from the days of yore.
FRANCOIS
I cannot so easily find a rhyme for 
Maine, other than...
CHARLES
Don’t even speak the name of the province from which that witch hailed. 
François presses his lips tight, distressed to have a line he so valued struck out of his poem.
CHARLES
Complete your poem, or lose your hands, or be hanged on Montfaucon Gallows for the theft of men’s wallets.
Charles looks toward a shackled man in the back of the hall with Guardsmen on both sides of him. He is REGNIER DE MONTIGNY, 40s, heavy-set, reminiscent of Friar Tuck without the joviality. He focuses his anxious attention on François.
CHARLES
And your partner in crime, Regnier de Montigny, will join you in either of these punishments. 
FRANCOIS
I cannot create an entire poem so spontaneously, especially when its heart has been torn out.
Montigny gasps.
CHARLES
All of your thefts were spontaneous, how about using that talent for poetry?
(to Robert and Pierre)
Prepare yourselves, Robert d’Estouteville, Provost of Paris, with your able assistant Pierrre Marchant, to either hack off his and his partner’s hands or cart them off to Montfaucon.
Montigny tries with body language to beseech François to complete the damn poem.
Robert and Pierre joyfully look to GUARDSMEN that await at the large stone arched door. The Guardsmen respond by running their anxious fingers on the handles of their swords, and leaning their bodies toward the dais, ready for the command to grab François instantly.
Quickly François completes his poem; delivers it as if to Ambrose. She hangs on his every word. Montigny sighs relief.
FRANCOIS
Mother of God, where have they all gone?
Ask me not next week, or e’en next year
For in reply you’ll ever hear
Where are the snows of yesteryear?
Charles applauds. Charles glares at Pierre and Robert until they too applaud. Robert’s furious glare back at Ambrose stops her applause.
CHARLES
You may keep your hands, as long as you keep them to yourself, and, with one of them, write poetry such as that.
François jumps down from the dais, heads for the door opposite from where the Guardsmen stand. Montigny jumps up, holds up his shackled hands to be unshackled.
CHARLES (cont’d)
Not so fast!

J
​​GREAT HALL
DAIS BEFORE A GRAND FIREPLACE
Well-armed TWENTY-FIVE-YEAR OLDER ROBERT and his ever-vigilant assistant, PIERRE MARCHANT, 30s, who flaunts his fierce, fiendish face, put their swords to the throat of a young, tall, slim, thick wavy-haired man. This is FRANÇOIS VILLON, 25, in baggy tights and loose-fitting tunic, defiant and saucy,
François stands on the dais beside DUKE CHARLES, AKA Charles of Orléans, 50s, a nobleman’s noble, who sits elegantly on a throne on the dais.   
CHARLES
(to Robert and Pierre)
Put your swords away. I rule here.
ROBERT
(refuses to sheathe his sword)
And I govern Paris. He’s spoken the witch’s name. By law, the penalty is death.
François delivers the line again as if to a fetching, refined young woman, AMBROSE DE LORÉ, 20s who sits IN THE BACK OF THE HALL. Beside her, a large arched window. The sun glows on her, light snow seen falling outside. 
FRANCOIS
And the good Jeanne Englishmen burned at Rouen
Our gallant Jeanne of Lorraine
Excited, with joy, Ambrose clasps her hands together, puts them to her heart.
Robert and Pierre prepare to run their swords through François. Ambrose gasps. Charles rises; throws up his hands. 
CHARLES
Sheathe your swords! Now!! Or, upon penalty by law, you shall be cast into prison for insubordination.
They do so very reluctantly.
CHARLES
Here in my castle, I am the law. I’ll see to this blasphemy.
Charles yells to a SCRIBE, bald, business-like, 40s, who, like a modern court recorder, has written down François's every word.
CHARLES
Strike that forbidden line!
SCRIBE
Yes, Good sir, Duke Charles.
CHARLES
Read back the lines up to the forbidden one. 
SCRIBE
Yes, Good sir, Duke Charles.
(reads lines he’s written down)
Tell me, tell me... Where is...
Queen Blanche, like a queen of white lilies
Who sang like a siren
Bertha Broadfoot, Beatrice, Alice,
Erembourg who conquered Maine --
Scribe looks humbly up at Duke Charles.
SCRIBE
That’s all, Kind Duke.
CHARLES
(to François)
Complete your poem. About the truly great French ladies from the days of yore.
FRANCOIS
I cannot so easily find a rhyme for 
Maine, other than...
CHARLES
Don’t even speak the name of the province from which that witch hailed. 
François presses his lips tight, distressed to have a line he so valued struck out of his poem.
CHARLES
Complete your poem, or lose your hands, or be hanged on Montfaucon Gallows for the theft of men’s wallets.
Charles looks toward a shackled man in the back of the hall with Guardsmen on both sides of him. He is REGNIER DE MONTIGNY, 40s, heavy-set, reminiscent of Friar Tuck without the joviality. He focuses his anxious attention on François.
CHARLES
And your partner in crime, Regnier de Montigny, will join you in either of these punishments. 
FRANCOIS
I cannot create an entire poem so spontaneously, especially when its heart has been torn out.
Montigny gasps.
CHARLES
All of your thefts were spontaneous, how about using that talent for poetry?
(to Robert and Pierre)
Prepare yourselves, Robert d’Estouteville, Provost of Paris, with your able assistant Pierrre Marchant, to either hack off his and his partner’s hands or cart them off to Montfaucon.
Montigny tries with body language to beseech François to complete the damn poem.
Robert and Pierre joyfully look to GUARDSMEN that await at the large stone arched door. The Guardsmen respond by running their anxious fingers on the handles of their swords, and leaning their bodies toward the dais, ready for the command to grab François instantly.
Quickly François completes his poem; delivers it as if to Ambrose. She hangs on his every word. Montigny sighs relief.
FRANCOIS
Mother of God, where have they all gone?
Ask me not next week, or e’en next year
For in reply you’ll ever hear
Where are the snows of yesteryear?
Charles applauds. Charles glares at Pierre and Robert until they too applaud. Robert’s furious glare back at Ambrose stops her applause.
CHARLES
You may keep your hands, as long as you keep them to yourself, and, with one of them, write poetry such as that.
François jumps down from the dais, heads for the door opposite from where the Guardsmen stand. Montigny jumps up, holds up his shackled hands to be unshackled.
CHARLES (cont’d)
Not so fast!

THIRD EXCERPT

8/12/2017

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From my memoir

                                    CHAPTER SIX: SAMILAND

People hustled from one government building to the next. What could possibly be going on?  The massive stone buildings on all sides of Stortorget, the large square in the heart of Old Town Stockholm, usually sit in stone silence on Sundays. There are frequent performances and demonstrations on this ancient square, but why are people going into and out of the government buildings? Some kind of invasion?
As I got closer to the crowd streaming up the steps to the front doors of one of the buildings, I experienced joy pouring out of everyone there.
“What’s going on?” I asked a kindly looking mother with an eager child in each hand.
“Folk singers from every province are performing. You listen to one group, then you go to hear another group in another room or another building.”
I smiled inside and out. The only other province I had traveled to just to experience the music was Dalarna, a tree-filled luscious green province. My travel there at Midsummer, the Swedes’ most revered holiday, rewarded me with citizens in traditional costume; dances around what we call the Maypole; boat rides in the sparkling blue waters of Lake Siljan, a Lutheran priest at the helm of each boat, arms outstretched like Christ, thanking the Heavens for the beauty of nature that the people of Dalarna are blessed with. An elderly couple befriended me, led me to a big room in a wooden building where Swedish fiddlers sat in a large circle, improvising off of each other the melodies of the historic folk music of Dalarna.
Hallelujah! I’d be able to go from one building to the next and hear music from just about every province in Sweden, without having to take an abundance of time, which I didn’t have.
I sat on the bleachers in the center of the room. A blond, blue-eyed young man, of slight build paced on a stage sinking into preparation for this next show. A semblance of an American Indian, he wore a traditional costume. I read in the one-page program that he was Sami, his name was Nils-Aslak Valkeapää, he hailed from the part of Samiland (called Lapland by Westerners) that is in Finland. The Sami are a culture that has lived for more than two thousand years above the Arctic Circle, where the nations of Sweden, Finland, Norway and Russia now merge. These extraordinary people have worn such a costume for more than two thousand years. It bears no semblance to the traditional costume many of the people of Dalarna don only for special occasions. This Sami filled his costume with pride as if it were not a costume, but as comfortable for him to wear as his skin. A long blue felt shirt and cap, both trimmed in red, with multi-colored design at the neck, around his waist, and around the bottom of his shirt, mottled fur shoes, dark leggings, and a silver belt. Though he had performed his routine several times before, he remained as concentrated as if he were going to perform it for the first time. He began to sing, accompanied by drumming and the periodic ringing of bells, which were fastened to a strip held by another back-up musician.
I was electrified. Never before had I been so moved by music. I had seen moments on TV of rock stars performing, and had pooh-poohed the females who screamed in some kind of sexual hysteria. Though he had the presence of a rock star, Nils-Aslak did not call attention to himself, but rather to the soulful songs he sang.
How to describe this singing that transported me? It’s called joik, (pronounced yoyk). Like American Indian chants, but more melodic. Nils-Aslak seemed to go to another place in his mind, which became pictures in my mind – of snow-capped mountains, the deepest blue skies imaginable, the intermittent bells rang as an organic part of the joik.  I smelled smells I’d never smelled before. Mountain paths with clean, vibrant air. I breathed deep with every moment of each of his songs.
His performance was over, way too soon. People applauded, but – Not loud enough. They got up to go to another setting, to enjoy a performance by another folk singer(s) from another province. I stayed seated. Nils-Aslak went into preparation for his next audience. People filed in, and sat all around me. Never rose to go to any other group’s performance, all afternoon, just with these Nils-Aslak. Every one of his performances equally enchanting. An unforgettable Sunday afternoon.
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    Susan Flakes is an award-winning playwright, screenwriter, writer of short stories and feature articles. .

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